Post by GPU Leadership on Jun 6, 2015 22:18:53 GMT
Anchor: Welcome to CBC News, today we have an exclusive interview with General Markus Oswald Kane on the situation in the Panama Canal. Markus: Glad to be "Here". Today I'd like to talk about our efforts to minimize the casualties in the very-clearly oncoming conflict, as I had feared, the SAP is mobilizing to bring heavy naval firepower to bear. Doubtlessly they actually intend to use it at some point. Anchor: But the SAP ambassadors said there wouldn't be any actions. Markus: Said, yes, but I'd be lying if I said I'd trust them not to have itchy trigger fingers somewhere down the chain of command. In any case, I've been focusing on bomb shelters, not only for our own boys and girls down there, but for the sake of the locals. The SAP May be willing to stomach needless destruction, but I'm not. They should be ready soon, thank god for prefabrication and quick-dry cement. Anchor: And what about afterwards? Markus: Who knows, In all likelyhood we pull them down and re-use as much of it as possible, we are the leading military when it comes to reusing things after all.* Heck, I intend to leave one or two as tourist traps**. Anchor: Well, you certainly make the most of the situation don't you? Markus: Hey, it's my job. Anchor: Anything else you'd like to add? Markus: Sure, Just a note, but the operationing name for our takeover of the canal was "Hidden Mammoth" so I went ahead and bought a stuffed mammoth and hid it along with the tanks. Turns out we had a whole herd of different mammoths being snuck aboard. So I decided to let anyone else crossing the canal join in. If you support free trade and are against being body cavity searched by the SAP, put some form of mammoth on your ship and hide it from the SAP inspectors, then take a picture of it while in the canal and post it with #Hiddenmammoth. Anchor: *Laughs* But wouldn't the SAP take the mammoths? Markus: Wouldn't be a challenge if they didn't. Anchor: Well there you have it folks, Straight from the general himself. This has been CBC news, thanks for watching.***
(OOC) *The GLA doesn't count as a military under his definition ** Selling stuffed mammoths for sure *** I'm not very good at writing news, since I mostly read newspapers rather than watch.