Post by Andrey Voronov on Jun 1, 2015 19:40:17 GMT
Male Reporter: ...the polar bear was rescued. Now to our top story of the night, over to Sasha Chernikov. You're watching Federation Front News, stay tuned.
*screen switches to an office*
Sasha Chernikov: Thank you, Zhenya. To our top story tonight, yesterday, a group of researchers from all across Eastern Europe and Asia named SAW, for Solar Anomaly Watchdogs, have found shocking relations of the Russian wildfires to the ECA Solaris satellite. Here I am at their office in Irkutsk for an interview, with one of the prominent researchers of this subject, Zheng Zhou Hui.
Zheng: Nín hǎo.
S.C.: Nín hǎo. So, by the looks of it, you have some very sensitive information on the cause of the Russian wildfires, yes?
Zheng: Well, yes. It seems that every major wildfire occurred during or after a pass by Solaris satellites. Could be just a coincidence, until you think, well, there are dozens of these 'coincidences'. And there's no reason that should happen on it's own, as Russia is not a polluted country. What relevance does this have? Well, everyone knows what the ECA says about the wildfires: they're the cause of excessive Russian fossil fuel burning! The Russians don't care about their environment, et cetera, et cetera. But actually, there is no such mass fossil fuel burning. Nuclear power plants supply the majority of Russia's power. This is supported by some renewable power sources like solar and wind power. In fact, the only fossil fuels that are burned are LNG, liquid natural gas, which, compared to other forms of fossil fuels, burns cleanly. At worst, the ECA's claims are baseless propaganda.
S.C.: Are you absolutely sure that these Solaris satellites are to blame for the wildfires?
Zheng: Oh, of course. We have meticulously logged every pass over Russia, and compared it to the time and date of many wildfires. Seeing as how they focus sunlight onto crops, is it that hard to focus too much sun on the target, and burn it instead? There's no doubt in my mind that Russia is like a testing ground to the ECA, for their new space-age WMD.
S.C.: Well, there you have it, folks. The ECA is not only to blame for our rising temperatures, but for the fires that have killed hundreds and destroyed many more lives.
Now we go over to our correspondent Ilya Petrovic in Moscow, to get the opinion of the common man and woman.
*screen switches to the Red Square*
Ilya Petrovic: Thanks, Sasha. Now, here, I am of course going to hear what the common citizen has to say about this, like, eh, you, sir. What's your name?
Man: Well, it's Viktor.
I.P.: So, Viktor, have you seen the documents recently released by the research group, SAW? What do you think about it?
Viktor: I have indeed, and I'm not surprised that the damn Europeans are trying to sabotage our nation. They set up a wall all across Europe just to keep us out. I knew all along that they were against the Slavic people. It is my firm belief that they are a more arrogant reincarnation of NATO.
I.P.: Thanks for your input, Viktor. Have a great day.
V.: And you as well.
I.P.: How about you, ma'am, what's your name? What do you think of the results of the SAW, Solar Anomaly Watchdog, research?
Woman: It's Natasha, hello, mother! I was shocked, the Europeans always act like friends, but really, they are just deceiving assholes.
I.P.: Natasha, language, please...
Natasha: Sorry for that, but... they do not even have the common courtesy to outright go against us. Europe deserves to be tried by an international court for using WMDs on the Russian Federation. First, us, but soon, the world.
I.P.: Alright, thank you for your input on this topic, Natasha. You heard it here first, from my initial encounters, Europe is an antagonist against Russia. Back to you, Zhenya.
*screen switches back to FFN studio*
Zhenya: Now to our next big story of the night, hit celebrity gets arrested on drug possession charges...
*screen switches to an office*
Sasha Chernikov: Thank you, Zhenya. To our top story tonight, yesterday, a group of researchers from all across Eastern Europe and Asia named SAW, for Solar Anomaly Watchdogs, have found shocking relations of the Russian wildfires to the ECA Solaris satellite. Here I am at their office in Irkutsk for an interview, with one of the prominent researchers of this subject, Zheng Zhou Hui.
Zheng: Nín hǎo.
S.C.: Nín hǎo. So, by the looks of it, you have some very sensitive information on the cause of the Russian wildfires, yes?
Zheng: Well, yes. It seems that every major wildfire occurred during or after a pass by Solaris satellites. Could be just a coincidence, until you think, well, there are dozens of these 'coincidences'. And there's no reason that should happen on it's own, as Russia is not a polluted country. What relevance does this have? Well, everyone knows what the ECA says about the wildfires: they're the cause of excessive Russian fossil fuel burning! The Russians don't care about their environment, et cetera, et cetera. But actually, there is no such mass fossil fuel burning. Nuclear power plants supply the majority of Russia's power. This is supported by some renewable power sources like solar and wind power. In fact, the only fossil fuels that are burned are LNG, liquid natural gas, which, compared to other forms of fossil fuels, burns cleanly. At worst, the ECA's claims are baseless propaganda.
S.C.: Are you absolutely sure that these Solaris satellites are to blame for the wildfires?
Zheng: Oh, of course. We have meticulously logged every pass over Russia, and compared it to the time and date of many wildfires. Seeing as how they focus sunlight onto crops, is it that hard to focus too much sun on the target, and burn it instead? There's no doubt in my mind that Russia is like a testing ground to the ECA, for their new space-age WMD.
S.C.: Well, there you have it, folks. The ECA is not only to blame for our rising temperatures, but for the fires that have killed hundreds and destroyed many more lives.
Now we go over to our correspondent Ilya Petrovic in Moscow, to get the opinion of the common man and woman.
*screen switches to the Red Square*
Ilya Petrovic: Thanks, Sasha. Now, here, I am of course going to hear what the common citizen has to say about this, like, eh, you, sir. What's your name?
Man: Well, it's Viktor.
I.P.: So, Viktor, have you seen the documents recently released by the research group, SAW? What do you think about it?
Viktor: I have indeed, and I'm not surprised that the damn Europeans are trying to sabotage our nation. They set up a wall all across Europe just to keep us out. I knew all along that they were against the Slavic people. It is my firm belief that they are a more arrogant reincarnation of NATO.
I.P.: Thanks for your input, Viktor. Have a great day.
V.: And you as well.
I.P.: How about you, ma'am, what's your name? What do you think of the results of the SAW, Solar Anomaly Watchdog, research?
Woman: It's Natasha, hello, mother! I was shocked, the Europeans always act like friends, but really, they are just deceiving assholes.
I.P.: Natasha, language, please...
Natasha: Sorry for that, but... they do not even have the common courtesy to outright go against us. Europe deserves to be tried by an international court for using WMDs on the Russian Federation. First, us, but soon, the world.
I.P.: Alright, thank you for your input on this topic, Natasha. You heard it here first, from my initial encounters, Europe is an antagonist against Russia. Back to you, Zhenya.
*screen switches back to FFN studio*
Zhenya: Now to our next big story of the night, hit celebrity gets arrested on drug possession charges...
